Fearlessly Loved.

I’ve recently began reading Preparing to be a Help Meet. Thanks Ely! It has been a while since I read on future spouses, preparation for it, or understanding the male sex! I was hesitant in reading it, and I’ll share why. Growing up I was known for being the lost romantic, cry in every movie, type of girl. I had my parent’s love story memorized and wanted to be just like them! You see my mom had a crush on my dad when she was 12. He was best friends to my mom’s brother, and so she fell in love with the skinny tall guy wearing big glasses.  Long story short they were meant to be! Now almost 29 years later, they are still best friends and very much in love. Beautiful right? That is why my expectations to future love were always very high. I dreamt of being one of those girls that falls in love with the first young man she meets and marries him. So I prepared. I prayed for my future spouse, made the famous list of attributes I’d hope he’s have. I wrote in a journal made for him to read someday. I read countless books on “Waiting.” I believed strongly that God had a prince somewhere in the universe for me.

Then when I turned 22 I fell in love for my very first time, to a wonderful young guy. We went to church together and had known each other from our past. We both liked hanging out with each other, and began to share the same friendships, and soon after prayer, and much excitement I said yes to my first boyfriend! It was so new to me I referred to him as “friend-boy,” for the longest! Little did we know that a future life together was not what God intended for us. I was so tied to the idea that he would be my future husband, because after all that was my plan right?! I had waited, I had prayed, God had brought me him. But it wasn’t meant to be. If you know me at all, my mom calls me a little bell. I’m always ringing, always laughing, always talking, and always singing. But this heart break had me in pieces. It shook me. It shook my belief in God’s plan for my heart. Anger started growing in my heart, and I thought how stupid (sorry for the strong word) I had been dreaming. How was anyone going to find Mr. Right on the first try?

It took me a long time to get over that heart break. I don’t think it took me long to get over the boy. I knew deep inside we weren’t a fit. It took me a while to get over the idea of the first boy, being “the one.” I was upset at myself for believing in all the books. I left my hurt heart wide open. Maybe if I opened it, someone would come in. I think deep down inside I was sad with God. I had lost that belief of Him writing my love story. I knew He God would be in my future story, just for now I would do things the way “normal girls” did. Meaning I would go out with guys if they asked. If they kissed me, I’d kiss back. Maybe that is okay with some girls, but not for me. You see I held those things, like holding hands, and sharing secrets, as sacred. I had once believed that each time I did anything with another person, it was giving a little portion of my heart. So I did for a while. Until I realized that God did have a plan for me.

I’ve grown up knowing that! I’ve heard it over and over! Jeremiah 29:11 right?! Then what happened? I believe that my heart is so special to God. I believe that the devil hates that! He hates when God’s princesses belong to Him. He hates when their hearts are guarded for their Creator. He hates purity! It doesn’t help that culture and society tells us to date whoever, whenever, and that “far” isn’t far at all. So many young women are falling into that trap. So many young women are losing their precious value. They’ve lost sight of their worth. The sad part being that they do not a Redeeming, Relentless, Amazing, Incomparable, love. A love that knows know guilt, knows no condemnation. A love they simply receive, not earn with favors.

As the years have gone by since that breakup, slowly God has been working in my heart. His work never stopped. I just was too loud to listen, and to busy looking everywhere but up. When I feel lonely, or when I feel ugly, or unwanted (let’s face it girls, we PMS and we feel all of the above if not more) Well there HE is to whisper through another woman’s voice, “Meliza you are Beloved.” Countless time He reminds me through beautiful friends, mentors, families.

So now I’m ready for this book. I’m ready to strengthen my heart again and prepare my heart again for the whole Help Meet. I am ready to believe that my story is already written and my job is to pray for the windows of heaven to be open! All I have to do is pray daily for a man who will one day make me smile everyday just by being who God created him to be. In the meantime satisfaction shouldn’t be found in that hope or quest for love. Satisfaction should be found because I am already being courted, I am already being loved, I am already someone’s Beloved. I am fearlessly, passionately, intimately, loved beyond measure by Him. Jesus.

Eat Jesus.

Deciding to eat healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle takes discipline and time. First one needs knowledge to begin this lifestyle. I tend to go for SELF magazine which has exercise tips, deals, meal plans, and ideas for easy-to-do anywhere work outs. Even taking a nutrition class could be helpful! Any lifestyle change begins with the DESIRE to change, and then the KNOWLEDGE to make the changes. Then in my case the Trader Joe’s visit comes next! I start with a list of foods for the week, and pick up all the essentials! Meaning that first I had to plan out every meal for each day prior to even beginning the shopping! I had to be INTENTIONAL! Once you’re ready to start, it’s helpful to tell someone else, or to do it with friends. That way you have someone keeping you on check. Then you’re ready to go! Healthy lifestyle here we come!

The first few days can be the harder ones. Getting away from bad habits can be pretty difficult. Everything that you hadn’t craved before, you seem to now crave. You decide you’re not going to get take out, or stop by drive-thru. Now there’s meals to prepare. But after the first week comes the results! You feel lighter, accomplished, and even stronger. Another week passes, then another, until it’s’ a few months that pass. Then a year passes by! You are now considered healthy in the books! Once a change in lifestyle is made, it must last at least a year to be truly considered change.

All this to say eating healthy is not that easy!!!However once it’s mastered, it brings a feeling of accomplishment, strength, and you can reap the results. Eating healthy is proven to help reduce diseases and maintain health, and help one live longer and stronger.

You would think I’m writing an informative paper!

Nah! I’m writing this for a reason. Our series at church is called Eat Jesus. Yes EAT! It’s not a mistake. I didn’t mean Enjoy Jesus. I meant EAT JESUS!!!

Eating Jesus is based on John 6. I do not usually read the Message translation, however in this case I encourage it. I like the clarity and how direct it is. You see John 6 tells us that the disciples were following Jesus and so were huge crowds of people. They had seen him perform miracles, and were amazed by him. Everywhere Jesus went, the crowds went. They had seen him feed multitudes and some simply went for that! They wanted free food and a free show. Jesus knew their hearts. Jesus understood and knew that they wanted temporary belly highs. They wanted full, content, TEMPORARY bellies. The kind of food he offered wasn’t that kind. The kind of food Jesus brought was eternal. He offered them himself. He sacrificed himself and died for our universe, to give a satisfying meal. He gave us the greatest nourishment. His life. His love. His eternity. The crowds wanted to quickly be full. They didn’t want to have a change of lifestyle, and Jesus knew that. He didn’t expect them to do it alone. He was willing to feed them daily and to keep them accountable. The bible says many people left. They simply were not ready for that type of food. They weren’t ready to taste their best life.

We go for the temporary fills, and the temporary belly highs. When there is a bowl of brownies in front of me, I can easily say no, and not ever look at them…OR…I can eat one. But then the one becomes two and three, and wow they are so good, that in comes four and five, and if no one is looking in comes six!!! Then shortly after I feel bloated, I feel full, and I feel sick. I don’t even want to see brownies, smell brownies, or bite into them again! Aside from that I probably consumed more than 200 calories in one slice and they are empty calories. We could say that chocolate has an antioxidant effect, but I haven’t tried too many dark chocolate brownies!

Even though I know this about brownies, I still struggle with wanting more than once, each time I see them. We all have something that we can sink our teeth into. It gives us a temporary fill, a belly high. It taste good to us, however it is simply empty calories. It offers no nutrition value to our bodies.

Can you see where this is heading?

Eat Jesus.

A healthy life in Christ requires DESIRE, KNOWLEDGE (of his word), DISCIPLINE, and being INTENTIONAL.

Desire is first, because you have to desire the change. You desire to become healthy. The crowds desired empty calories; they didn’t want the nutritious fill.

Knowledge. Knowing what to eat matters. You need to know what is beneficial, what is filling, what is tasteful. When you start eating healthy it’s easy to eat the same meals and enjoy them. Bu after a while it gets tiresome and boring. Food needs color and variety. The more you try different recipes, different types of foods, the more enjoyable it is. When we eat Jesus, we need to get to know him. We get stronger, and want more and more of him, the more we eat of him and realize just how filling he is. We realize that the temporary fills cannot measure up to the life lived continuously and daily with Him.

But the brownies are always in our reach. Many time we can become just like the “crowds” and we decide that it is “too hard,” it is “too much work.” We can easily get distracted with all the other food choices around of us. We can easily eat everything in our reach. Just like sin. It may feel good at that instant. It can satisfy for a minute, but its emptiness and its results are long lasting. Just like it’s hard to shed off pounds, let’s face it; it’s hard to shed off our sinful nature. But we can. We have a Jesus that walked before us. He showed us the way. He resisted empty calories, because HE knew the love and the life of the FATHER.

Intentional.

Everything that we eat will either benefit our bodies or destroy them. Diabetes, stroke, cancer, heart disease, can all come from poorly nourished diet. Jesus offered life. He offered a meal that was free and was eternal. The same offer is for me and you. He offers us a more than satisfying meal. He offers us a meal plan for life! We’re set! All we have to do is EAT!

Psalm 34:8 “Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see— how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him. “

 

 

Lost journal entry: hush little one

She was only 6 years old
Climbing trees, collecting rocks
Smiling.

Who would have thought she was worth
A pocket full of change
Taken, purchased, sold for another purpose
Broken.

Robbed of innocence
Slave to brokenness

Hush little one
Fear no more
He’s coming to rescue you//

One day will come
When no child will go hungry
No child will go lost
No more cuts, bruises, no more pain

Hush little one
Fear no more
Never again would she be
Lost and broken in that day

Lost journal entries. 8/9/10

Cutting out the cycle that is feeding my flesh
It is time to feed my spirit
My spirit longs and needs you
My spirit cannot live without you
I feel dry
I feel desperate
I feel sad
Break me into pieces and put me together again
You father make all things new
My builder.

Believe it or not…

As she walked out of the house a few drops of blood lingered by. She saw him from afar and thought, “If I could just touch his robe!” She walked as fast as she could, though fast was not a possibility for her. Weakness was. She had bled so much that morning, that walking only made her dizzy and faint. Yet her determination brought her to him. Panting, weaker and weaker as she approached, she made her way to him. She held out her shaky, bloody hand, and touched him. RESPONSE!

His touch brought a sense of healing, which traveled throughout her entire body. She has spent 12 years visiting doctors, wasting her money, wasting her hope. Now with just one visit, one touch, hope was restored. HEALED!

They surrounded her bed, as the beautiful little girl lay breathing shallow, quiet, last breaths. Memories of her first word, her first few steps, and the joy she brought to them were in his head. It was his most precious possession, the music in their home. He would not give up, he would find a way, and so he ran. As fast as he could, he ran toward one that would bring a solution. He ran to the one that could heal. He saw him through the crowd of people, so he began racing through the crowd. When he approached him, he fell to his knees. “Please come heal my baby girl. She is dying now, BUT I know you can heal her, “said Jairus. At the moment he lifted Jairus from the ground and went. RESPONSE!

Jairus arrived with him to the scene. Neighbors were crying outside the home. Jairus could hear gloomy, death music playing in the air. “It can’t be too late, we’re here, HE’S here,” thought Jairus. Finally they made it in the room. The beautiful little girl with rosy cheeks, and life in her laughter, was now gray and her face solemn.

He simply touched her little cold and gray hand, and said “Talitha koum, “which means Wake up little girl. Color returned to her cheeks, then to her entire body, and she threw the covers off and ran to her Poppa! ALIVE!

They had heard of this healer. He had raised the dead; he had healed simply by his touch, simply through his presence. Could he heal a blind man? Could he bring light into his dark, black, empty world? They brought their blind friend to him. When they approached him they begged him to simply touch the blind man. The blind man simply went along with them. His world was dark and there was simply no hope for light. Yet he took the blind man and said, “Walk with me.” RESPONSE!

The blind man was so used to being led by others. However this was different. He was being led to a place where he knew hope would be. As the blind man held him, his heart began to speed, and his breaths became rapid, he had a sense deep inside that something would change. Maybe his touch would be enough. 

The blind man was is for a surprise. First the man put his spit on the blind man’s eyes.  He then asked, “Can you see?” The blind man began to see figures from afar; he began to see blurs that walked. That would be enough. His darkness had light. But the healer had more. He touched the blind man’s eyes once more, and the blind man was able to see. No longer dark, no longer gray, but a world of light! AWAKE!        

More and more were brought to him. More and more were amazed by him. There was healing in his touch, there was power in this man. Who was this man they believed in? The King of Glory, His name…JESUS.

tongues.

James 3

up front

truth

personal

it starts off with the honest truth. we are simply not all meant to be teachers, because we will be judged more strictly than others, and many of us out not ready. our biggest offender is our own tongue. what we say really does matter. our words are important. they come out of the heart Mark tells us that it is what is in the heart that defiles us. sadly our tongue can be used for good to life up and praise and also to hurt and bring down someone. its scary that a little organ whose importance is the first part of digestion is also important to determine where your heart is. it’s easy to forget that in situations where everyone around you is using it for bad. it is easy to forget that when you aren’t having a personal relationship with the holy spirit. it’s easy to forget that when your desires being temptation in your life. BUT we have a GOD that redeems. we have a GOD that can take whatever the world has destroyed, and redeemed. We have a relentless pursuer that will pick us up and give us a chance to try again. keep serving, keep growing, keep searching, and keep that heart , and ultimately that tongue in check.

Reading notes.

This week I’m reading the book of James. It’s a pretty short book!!! So for all of you busy, working on reading textbooks, studying, or procrastinating, well this is the book for you!!! I love reading introductions in books. I can usually tell if I will read the book, and enjoy it, if it wins me over in the intro section! So for all your writers…my advice to you, is master the intro! So an intro to James…

LIFE CHANGE.

RESPONDING TO YOUR CALL.

CHALLENGES TO BRING UP A TRUE FOLLOWER.

WHAT NOT TO DO.

WHAT TO DO.

PRODUCING FRUIT.

CHANGED BY HIS PERFECT LAW.

I’ll be able to add more to the list as soon as I finish the book. Those are only from chapters 1 and 2!!! So I invite you, I urge you to try this book! Read it! It’s free to! Download it on your cool iphone, blackberry, or whatever gadget you have. Read it in the car on blast, on the toilet (you know you do it), or anywhere!!! Here are a few of my notes…a few of my highlights, and perhaps some encouragement for you too!

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” James 1:2-4

- LET IT GROW! Endurance, Resistance, Perseverance. They reminded me of working out, and challenging your mind, your body, your sore quads to persevere! The joy that comes from seeing the physical change in your body when working out for a goal, is like the joy James talks about. Sort of. Enduring the hard times, makes us stronger for the next test, for the next trial. The joy comes from simply seeking the response in Our Hero. He is always close to reach, close to coach, and guide us through the hard times, in order to see the last part completed. NEEDING NOTHING! WOW!

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” James 1:19-20

I write a lot of TO DO lists throughout my day. Sometimes I’ll add things on my list simply so that I can check them off. Checking the boxes off feels sooooo good!!!! So let’s write this on our TO DO list… 1. Be quick to listen 2. Be slow to speak 3. Be slow to anger. Completing these, checking these boxes off, produces RIGHTEOUSNESS. I googled the word righteous, and my favorite definition, was definitely a Mary Poppins type of phrase, PERFECTLY WONDERFUL! God desires us to live perfectly wonderful lives. Or moral, right, true, justifiable, virtuous , lives. That is the result of simply opening our hearts to listening to others, slowing down to discern, and leaving the angry behind.

“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:22-25

Another response to HIS word! His word should produce in us a change. We look at the mirror in the morning, and see the dark spots under the eyes, maybe the new creases that age brings about, or if puberty came at young adulthood those extra pink marks! What do we do with it? Well if we are girls, we grab the makeup bag, and cover up. We fix the hair, brush our teeth, and we go about our day. No matter what you do in the am, once you check that mirror out, you know there will be a change! For those of you that look and leave and forget, well I need that in my life too! His word is like a mirror. We can read it, and forget it. Or we can look deep into it, and let it reflect our heart. We can see what areas in our lives need change, or action. We can remember that during the day so that at the end of the day when we look back into that reflection, we can see change. I read in Mark that it is our heart that defiles us. It is what its deep within us that reveals who we are. Sometimes that area needs a lot of change, and who better to bring about that change , then the Creator of our heart! He already knows us! He knows the secrets, the lies, the fears, the doubts, the desires, the dreams, all of it! His word, his guide, his love letters, his perfect book, was written to make us free!

See, that was only two chapters! I like that James writes a life changing book, real, full of insight, filled with guidelines to make you a better you, all in 5 chapters! Gotta love this author!

PRAY.FAITH.ACTION.

It’s everywhere! What should our 1st response be? PRAYER. There is power in prayer to stop the trafficking, to free the lives, to rescue the chained, to heal our nation. PRAY children of GOD, 2nd response ACTION. Prayer and faith without actions is empty. Read the encouragement in James 1 and 2. Let’s become children of prayer, faith, and action, and see our world change!

mark 1:40-45

 

A chronic, mildly contagious granulomatous disease of tropical and subtropical regions, caused by the bacillusMycobacterium leprae, characterized by ulcers of the skin, bone, and viscera and leading to loss of sensation, paralysis, gangrene, and deformation. Also called Hansen’s disease.

That’s the definition of leprosy. It’s ugly. There are ulcers and tumors all over your body. Loss of sensation. Not feeling the touch of a friend’s hand over your shoulder when your worried or sad. Deformation. We worry about a pimple sometimes. We worry about a little excess fat in our tummy , but deformity? leprosy.

This man described in Mark, came and knelt in front of Jesus. He was in desperate need to be healed. He was probably shunned by society. He was probably abandoned by family,because of his disease, that was so highly contagious. By a simple breath, he could infect whoever was in his sight, by this ugly disease.

Jesus healed this leprous man.

Now picture it.

You are the leper.

You have this disease that everyone sees. Outside of your body is this ugliness. It is so ugly that inside it feels the same way. When we live in sin and darkness, each mistake, each fall, is like a mark on the skin. It is like a tumor that grows and grows. When we begin doing wrong, the more and more we fall into this long hollow less pit. And let’s face it, when you’re in the wrong, you don’t want to surround yourself with those doing right. When you are in darkness, you don’t want to be seen by the light. It’s like this disease. In the past they would live segregated by the rest of society. Far from those they loved. Just like with sin, we ourselves begin to segregate from the one who loves us more than life. We have all gone through this. Sin is something that we deal with every day. But there is freedom. There is healing. There is light. His name is Jesus. He rescues, He heals, He forgives, He frees, He redeems us.

Kneel  in his precense, come to him in deperation. Come to him with your falls, your mistakes, your past. Come to him with your fears, your secrets. Simply come to him.

Light makes all things bright. Light, even the simplest form, makes the darkest room bright. Jesus comes to bring that light. Our darkness is made bright by Him.

Just like he healed the leper. He heals our sin. He has healed me. He has made me light again. I share this with you because we have all stumbled, we have all fallen at times in our lives. We have maybe reached a time where we felt far from Jesus. But instead of becoming so distant, and making him so far from reach. Reach out your hand, and find that HIS is there. His hand is there to heal you, to forgive you, to make you whole. His hand will always be there for you. His hand will touch the most sickest part of you. Because HE will always touch you.

 

Christmas Challenge.

I was listening to Pastor Steven Furtick speak on his Christmas challenge. He correlated his preaching to the story of Martha and Mary, while they prepared to host Jesus in their home. You see Christmas is a time that though the songs called it, “The most wonderful time of the year,” it seems to now be labeled as the most stressful time of the year. We get so busy going shopping, putting up decorations, baking, and hosting parties, attending gift exchanges, working to pay for those shopping sprees, and the list goes on!!! I almost feel like you have to prepare for December a few months in advance, if you really want to enjoy it. (Which I sort of did this year, and it has helped!)

Being the last month of the year. Do we want it to simply fly by? Being the month that children of all ages long for, do we want it to just hurry on by? I remember looking forward to this season as a kid. And I won’t lie, I still look forward to it as an adult.

So how to make the most of it?

Is our challenge simply to shop for presents early in the year? Is it to finally mail out Christmas cards that you saved last year? Is it having the decorations up the day after Thanksgiving? Is it making time for every single party, gift exchange, and local event there is?

No.

Our challenge is not to be a Martha. You see…Martha had everything ready. I’m sure she had the house ready days before Jesus came. However that day she was probably making sure everything was perfect. I am such a Martha. I can not sit down and enjoy a movie, or enjoy company, until I have seen that everything around me is “perfect”. My name means “busy bee”, and that is so appropriate!  The role of Martha is easily the role we take on during the holidays.

So here is the challenge. Let’s be a Mary. Let’s be the person who sat at the feet of Jesus. The person who decided to leave distractions aside for a minute, and simply delight in the presence of Jesus. Pastor Steven’s challenge for the crazy holidays, was that. To simply enjoy the presence of Jesus. To include HIM in all we do.

Maybe as you put up the decorations this year, or as you prepare a meal for others, acknowledge HIS PRESENCE.

There is a peace that comes with HIS presence. There is a hope, there is  freedom from the weight of stress and business. In his presence we truly celebrate the most wonderful time of the year. When we have HIM in the center we realize that is what all of this is all about. Not the coolest gadget of the year. Not the gifts under the tree. Not the warmth of friends and family surrounding you.

SIMPLY JESUS.